Why Self Care for Men is A Must
This won’t be your normal self-care article. Because in previous TENGA articles we have already addressed the topic of self-care and some of the things we can do to feel overall wellness both physically and mentally (feel free to read the TENGA STORE USA and LOVE ME TENGA articles).
In this article, let’s dive into the reasons and motivations as to why you want to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. Without a strong reason why, or a desire to continue this practice daily, you’ll find yourself feeling a lot less good about yourself and may eventually choose to stop with self-care, going back to old habits that maybe even made you feel as sick, agitated, and depressed before.
Let’s double down on our commitment to feeling good and working towards keeping the momentum going, or at least start something worth building on. While we understand that’s a heavy commitment, no doubt you once felt it was worth the effort.
You might be asking who am I to tell you what to do or how to think or feel? Indeed, I would not be so presumptuous as to give you such life-changing advice. Rather, in this article, I call upon some of the thought leaders of our time to give us food for thought, in the hope that you will keep this to heart even when the going gets tough!
Moving Forward
“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” — C.S. Lewis
So many of us keep dwelling on the past and think that if we had done this or done that differently, our lives would be so different. Maybe it would have been different, but it also could have ended up much worse. Hey, you’re here, right now. And you’re so lucky to be in a place where you have the power to steer your course at any time you decide to take control of your life.
Using the tools we’ve mentioned in the past can help you see the big picture again and help you see what is happening now, so you could start feeling better, doing better things, and actually being in a better place, a better home, a better job, or with a partner you truly appreciate and who appreciates you.
Sure, maybe you’ve had a setback and you are not where you thought you’d be at this point. No matter. Just start from where you are now and begin again. Let go of the “coulda, shoulda, woulda’s” in your life. You can’t do anything about them anymore.
I know someone who lost over a half million dollars a few years back, put his family’s whole life savings into an investment, only to see it stolen by someone in the company who ran off to some country where they’ve gone invisible. For some, it would seem devastating. He had a few moments of pity time, but he is back with a renewed attitude and has not looked back since. He figures ‘what good would that do?’. He still has the love and support of his wonderful wife, and other friends and family.
The old “him” had a bit of a cocky side and, quite frankly, was starting to become a bit of an ass! He now has a passion for creating, and a never-ending curiosity to start new things to help others. He would have never been on this path had he not had this setback.
When we embrace and then let go of the bitterness and anger we have attached to the past, we feel so much lighter, as if we have given ourselves an enormous chance to grow again.
Sometimes there’s interference from the outside world you live in, blocking your clarity. It can help to take a step back and look at your situation from the “30,000-foot view” and get started again. Things aren’t that bad, and even if they are, you can start again. In Japan, there is a saying which translates to something like “Fall down seven times, get up eight” —七転び八起き（ nana korobi, ya oki）.
If you’ve fallen off your self-care routine, why not start again today? In the next section, you’ll see how important it is to remain in the positive.
The Broaden-and-Build Theory
A lot of us assume that good things can lead to more good things, but Dr. Barbara Fredrickson from the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor (at the time of her published work), believes that positive emotions carry a huge effect way beyond their short-term results. Her Broaden-and-Build Theory suggests that positive emotions:
- Broaden people’s attention and thinking
- Undo negative emotions lingering inside you
- Fuel psychological resilience
- Build personal resources that promote growth
- Trigger upward spirals towards greater well-being in the future
- Seed human collaboration and flourishing enterprises
Her theory on broadening and building upon positive emotions suggests that positive emotions, such as joy, interest, contentment, and love, can broaden an individual’s options. In turn, by broadening an individual’s positive options, those positive emotions promote discovery of creative actions, ideas, and social bonds, which, in turn, build that individual’s personal resources ranging from physical and intellectual resources, to social and psychological resources.
In the long run, these resources can be drawn upon later to improve the odds of successful coping and survival, and even tremendous growth.
“When positive emotions are in short supply, people get stuck. They lose their degrees of behavioral freedom and become painfully predictable. But when positive emotions are in ample supply, people take off. They become generative, creative, resilient, ripe with possibility and beautifully complex.” — Dr. Fredrickson
I’m definitely going with this theory over Murphy’s Law!
What Are You Like on the Inside?
“When you squeeze an orange, you’ll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what’s inside. The same logic applies to you: when someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, or says something unflattering or critical, and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, depression, or anxiety, that is what’s inside. If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, change your life by changing what’s inside.” — Dr. Wayne Dyer
Well, squeeze me and you won’t get orange juice, but afterwards hopefully you’ll get a whole lot of sweetness, joy, and laughter!
As we have been discussing, letting go of the bitterness gives room for growth and creativity, whether that be at work, a personal relationship, a financial hardship, or just some difficult situation that’s been put forth in front of you. How well you handle it is a reflection of how well you feel inside.
Of course, the more relevant question is, if someone squeezed you right now, what would come out of you? I’m sure you, as well as everyone else, would certainly hope it would be something to be proud of!
Cultivate the good thoughts. Obviously, we don’t need anyone to tell us that it helps to feel good, feel healthy, and actually be healthy. Grow “the good stuff” inside of you with healthy eating, regular exercise, and a state of mind that reinforces love and joy.
Your Best Investment Ever
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” — Rumi
I call this the difference between being a “smart ass” and just plain being smart. Working on yourself is probably the best thing you could do for others. You regain that “30,000-foot view” we mentioned earlier and can see what’s good for you as well as what’s good for others. By investing in one’s own well-being and development, you enhance your capacity to make a positive impact.
On another note, even with the best of intentions, many people try to put all their effort and energy into helping others, only to find they have nothing left at the end of the day. That leaves them, and their families, without the best person you can be.
It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes so that you have enough resources to serve someone else on some other day. Make sure you are able to maintain your best self. Would you fly on an airplane that was no less than 100 percent in excellent condition?
So be the person that says “yes” to helping others, but also be the person that says “no” when you feel you can’t. You can also say “yes” to helping yourself often. It’ll make you stronger!
“When you say ‘yes’ to others make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” — Paulo Coelho
Unplug, Plug Back In
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” — Anne Lamott
When we talk about taking some time off and recharging, we don’t necessarily mean going to the gym five times a week and getting fit, although it’s not a bad idea. There are also other ways to recharge that you should incorporate (again, feel free to read these TENGA STORE USA and LOVE ME TENGA articles).
Take a break. Don’t worry, the world will still be here when you get back. Indulge in good food, take a nap, or better still, get some self-pleasure in your life.
Get those good hormones running through you and start feeling some relief. This moment won’t last forever! Enjoy it!
Some people do some really extreme stuff on their off-time. If that’s your thing, great. But if you’re just not into running 26-mile marathons, or being strapped onto one end of a giant rubber band and falling off a cliff, or getting dropped off on an unmanned island for a week with only a toothbrush and a stick of wood, relax. It’s not for everyone. You don’t have to do any of that to feel alive. Just chill.
“Self-care doesn’t necessarily mean jogging!” — Sandra Oh
CONCLUSION
In short, it would be great if you embraced “YOU” more often. And if you don’t know who “YOU” are, well, this is a great time to discover yourself and what you truly wish to accomplish with your time.
We hope you do more of the things that make you happy and bring out the one-and-only, authentic “YOU”. Being more authentic, being more “YOU” means you no longer have to shout over the crowd to be heard. People will come to you and appreciate your uniqueness. Your bright shiny aura will be all that is needed to announce your entrance wherever you go. So just as a reminder — be more of you.
And TENGA is helping you find the many shades of “YOU” by providing more chances to experience many types and varieties of pleasurable moments, either by yourself or with someone you care about.
-M
